So apparently when you're pregnant people like to see you getting fatter...any other time people deride and demand some sort of diet when you gain weight but they're all for it when you're pregnant...its a weird thing to get used to.
So in order to appease the masses I'm posting pictures of my current baby fat...26 weeks and counting!
Plague of Death
Let me preface this by saying my husband took 2 days off from work when he caught this thing! That in and of itself deserved a blog post. The fact that I lost all 4 lbs that I've gained during this pregnancy is merely a byline in this story.
So just imagine going about your day as normal...eating normal...going to church like normal. Getting all cozy and ready for bed laying down and then your husband turns to you and says...I don't feel so good. "Oh" you say "whats wrong?" "I think I'm gonna be sick" This he says as he jogs out of the room. You find this slightly humorous because 1. you think he's sick because he ate too much for dinner and 2. you've never seen him jog to the bathroom before. However, the noises coming from the bathroom (horrible wretching noises) soon wipe the smile off your face. Repeat jogging to the bathroom and horrible wretched noises every 15 minutes for the next 24 hrs.
Poor Greg couldn't keep soda crackers and ginger ale down. Finally around 5pm THE NEXT DAY there began to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I went out and bought peppermint everything to see if it would calm his stomach. Peppermint tea, peppermints, those cute little peppermints you serve at weddings...etc. Peppermint became the miracle cure. During this time his mother and father and brother had all gotten sick with this vicious plague...I was the only well one in the house.
I thanked my lucky stars for all those horse pill vitamins they make you take for prenatal health and proceeded to just take care of Greg and the rest of them.
Greg was so weak (he lost 10 lbs during his confinement) that he stayed home from work on Tuesday to regain some strength. By Tuesday night he was feeling pretty good...and he kept looking at me asking how I felt.
And at the time I felt pretty good...no more nauseated than usual. Just regular ole random bouts of sickness.
Until around midnight....oh man. One thing I've learned is this child does NOT like savory herb roasted potatoes...EVERY TIME I eat those delicious things I end up hurling....and let me tell you they DO NOT taste as good coming up as they did going down.
So I caught the plague. Thankfully my bout lasted half the time Greg's did and by 7 am I was keeping Gatorade down just fine. Greg had given me a blessing soon after the second round of upchucking (anyone know where that lovely word originated...??) because we both feared the worst for me and the baby. I know it was that blessing that saved me from hours more of sickness.
So just a random question...but has anyone else caught this lovely virus?
Symptoms include:
Time to Guess...
So we get to find out what we're having in about 3 weeks. (I know you're all as excited as I am) So I figure its time to put it to the masses to guess what we're having.
To help you in your hypothesis I've put together a list of facts that might or might not have something to do with the outcome. Take them for what you will.
1. Greg is one of 5 boys and 1 girl.
2. I am one of 3 girls and 1 boy.
3. My mother is one of 4 girls and 6 boys. (yep do the math...thats 10 kids)
4. My dad is the only boy and he has 1 sister.
5. I am not showing yet...so I don't know if I'm carrying "high" or "low."
6. I still get nauseated every morning...yep every single one.
7. I have no acne..at all...LOVE THAT!
8. I do not crave sweets (some say craving sweets means you're having a girl...I think it means you have a sweet tooth...but whatever), I crave fruit.
9. I did that string test (where you put a ring on a piece of string hold it over your stomach and see which way it swings) and got both results so I gave up.
10. There is only one heartbeat (in case you're thinking twins or more...).
All right! Let the guessing begin!
Remember When...
Remember when I could sleep on my stomach and not get nauseous...I do...it wasn't that long ago...and it was awesome.
Remember when people kept talking about all the money they were going to get because of the bail out/recession bill...whatever happened to that?...cause I got jack.
Remember when you'd wake up excited for the day...you were totally rested and energetic...I don't think I've felt that way since I was like 13 (then early morning seminary started and it was all downhill).
Remember when you got to take naps on those blue/red mats...and they were comfortable...but you still didn't want to take a nap because you wanted to whisper to your neighbor (or maybe I was the only one who was a rebel in Kindergarten).
Remember when they let you bring cupcakes to class for your birthdays?...did you know now you have to bring "wholesome treats"...what the heck?!
Remember when you woke up at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings for cartoons...now kids can just watch them online...LAME.
Remember when your mom did all your laundry...being a grownup sucks sometimes.
Remember when you could eat anything you wanted without caring about calories...diet coke hadn't even been INVENTED yet!
Remember when it was cool to be modest...why do clothes keep getting smaller/shorter/more see through?
Remember when boys/girls were gross and you vowed the only girl/boy in your life would be your mom/dad? (glad I grew out of that one...no offense dad)
Remember when you first figured out how to mix colors to create new colors...I believe every house I ever drew between the ages of 6-9 were blue-green and purple with a bit of pink.
Remember when losing weight was AWESOME...ok it pretty much still is...until the nice doctor man reminds you you're preggo so thats not so awesome. (I however simply remind myself that in a few months I'll just have to look at food to gain weight)
Remember when Lisa Frank and San Rio Surprise were the coolest things around...and you wrote your name,punctuated by silly dots, on everything.
Remember when you didn't know what bills were...hahahahahahaha....those were good days.
Remember when Sister Daily, the ward librarian in my home ward, would get up on testimony Sundays and read off who still had church materials out and how overdue they were...those were good days.
Remember when you went to school...and got grades...and took tests...and remember how you used to hate it and look forward to when you no longer went? Do you still feel that way?
Yeah...I remember all those things.
Little She/He Hawes
And so it begins.....
Nausea.....check
Sore Parts...check
Frequent Bathroom Breaks...check
Weird pains...check
Squealing Grandparents....check
House with room for baby....still workin on it...figure baby can live in drawer til it's at least 3 months...oh and I'm totally kidding...please don't call child welfare services already....
Little She/He Hawes will be coming to earth around March 24, 2010....start your countdowns.
We Moved!
Yep it's true...no longer do we reside in that state of beehives and Mormon majority...that land called Utah...we gave it up. Well, we changed locations anyway. Greg graduated...he looked like this...
Cute huh. Yep Magna Cum Laude (top 5%) and with High Distinction (uh we still don't know what that means exactly...Greg thinks top 2% of Grad School...don't know but sounds pretty cool). His parents came into town....and Steph and Chris came to the graduation...we all looked like this...
Then we packed up the truck...ok so let me just say...we had some great guys from the Ward come and help us pack up...and they were Tetris GENIUSES! Greg and I seriously doubted that our truck would be able to hold everything...but because of them we got EVERYTHING in...simply amazing.
We left on April 28, for what my husband calls...while putting his hand over his heart mind you...the Great State of Minnesota. I figured that I would document the drive in pictures...so here is Utah...
Well not the whole thing...but a mountain in Utah....a mountain with snow at the top at the end of APRIL...And here is Wyoming...
Dear Wyoming,
You're boring.
Love~Lindsey
And here is North Dakota...
Dear North Dakota,
You smell like cow for about 30 miles...try and do something about that....
Love, Linds
For Iowa and Illinois it was either dark and I was driving...or it was dark and I was sleeping...so no pictures there....
But then around 11:00 am April 29...Greg saw this...
That says Welcome to Minnesota...in case you can't see it....Hooray!!! We finally made it. Now time to unload all our crap...Here's Greg smiling because 1. We're in Minnesota and 2. We get to store our stuff FOR FREE at Scott and Nicki's house (thank you very much Scott and Nicki).
Yep thats our stuffed truck....packed tighter than my pantyhose on Sunday. So we unloaded all that stuff...took our suitcases to Greg's parents and crashed. (Meaning we fell asleep...like coma sleep) Greg is very proud to announce that we did the whole trip with that truck (and 12 miles a gallon mind you) in 21 hours...we pulled over around 4am and slept for an hour but then just kept on truckin. Overall the trip was pretty easy but I would like to take this moment to write a short letter to Penske.
Dear Penske,
Thank you so much for the truck rental. I was surprised that the truck was actually very clean...my belongings weren't marked or scarred at all by any leftover residue. It was very easy to drive and quite roomy in the cab. One thing though, can you please make sure your windows can be tightly shut. You see we had to drive the 21 hours with what can only be described as a fighter jet taking off like sound blaring in our ears because the seal to the drivers side window was loose (we couldn't fix it and BELIEVE ME we tried). So after a few hours my dear husband's left ear literally fell off and is now somewhere in North Dakota being chewed on like cud by their stinky cows. So just a suggestion, but fix your windows...
Thanks,
Lindsey
So now that we're in Minnesota we're going to live with the in-laws until we can find a house. Greg's cramming for the CPA exam at the moment but rigorous househunting should commence next week. I've already driven (ok been driven around by someone else) and looked at a number of houses or neighborhoods...so we'll just have to wait and see what happens. All in all its a pretty exciting time!
WEIRD STATS
One of the amazing things about the internet is that keeps track of wacky things. For instance, did you know this blog is being found at least 3 times a day in the UK for my picture of Balou?! Apparently those wild foreigners love their Balou! Also my amazing collage of "The Hoff" is all the rage in Germany...I hope that some young impressionable confused teen is staring at it right now. Also, did you know...that this blog is the 3rd ranked site when you type in "bedroom smells like onions" (without the quotations) into Google. Yee Haw! Now I would say thats an accomplishment. It is also ranked 6th overall in the search "valentine verses involving tummy buttons"....don't even ask me what that means or why I'm being found for that but I am and let me tell you....I AM PROUD!
Here's to all the weird and wacky stats the internet saves and publishes for our perusal!
The 25 List
Since this tag seems to be spreading like dysentery on the Oregon Trail, I thought I might as well get it over with....So here we go. 25 amazing things about me that you probably didn't know...
25. I am a total extremist...not in that sporty go jump off a cliff kind of way...but in the its either good or its bad kind of way. Its black or its white...I like you or I don't like you. (But don't worry if I don't like you, you probably wouldn't know it because I'm really good at being polite and cordial.)
24. I get blisters on my heels at least once a week. My feet literally hate shoes. They can be old tennis shoes I've had for years or brand new loafers...seriously doesn't matter I still get them once a week.
23. I was once told I look like a blond Betty Boop....I don't even know what that means. I mean I know who Betty Boop is...but does that mean I look animated...or a little trashy??
22. Feet creep me out. I hate them...I mean think about where they've been. They are literally a playground for bacteria and odor...WHY would anyone want to touch them?
21. My pinky fingers are teeny tiny. They barely come past the first knuckles on my ring fingers. They're mini pinkys.
20. Some people are weird about textures they touch...I am weird about textures I eat or drink. Ask my husband...he says I give the stupidest reasons for not eating or drinking something. For example, it's 10pm and I'm thirsty so Greg says, "Have a glass of milk or water." Now I love milk and really cold water is ok as well. But at 10pm, in my weird brain, milk is just too thick to drink and water is too oily...so what do I do...I go thirsty usually.
19. I used to sing a lot. In choirs, in church, in the shower...etc. However, I really can't read music. I usually just listen to a song and pick up which part I'm supposed to sing...this is why I tell people I'm too dumb to sing alto...I can't hear that part as well so I can't sing it.
18. I have to make the bed before I can sleep in it. What?! you ask. Yes, that's right. If the bed is not made or messed up in anyway, I make it, straighten out all the wrinkles and tuck in the sheets before I can sleep in it. That way I climb into a very neat and tight cozy bed.
17. And now the almond story...Once upon a time I was 3 years old and over-tired. You know how kids get when they're overtired...they cry. Well, I was tired and crying but I still needed to take a bath before bed. So my mom threw me into the tub to get clean. It was close to Valentine's Day and she had just gotten a large box of chocolates from my dad and she knew that I loved the colorful Jordan Almonds that came in the chocolates so she bribed me. If I stopped crying I could have one, she said. So I somehow managed to compose myself. And stopped crying, but you know how after you've been crying for a while you get gaspy and suck in gulps of air to try and stop yourself. Well I was in that gaspy stage when I got my treat. I put the almond in my mouth and mid swallow gasped the almond into my lung. I don't really know how this works...I just tell people a magic passageway opened up and deposited the almond directly into my lung. Anyway, almonds aren't very good at dissolving so after a couple of days my 3 year old body couldn't take 3 steps without having to sit down and rest. My mother knowing something was definitely wrong took me to multiple doctors who told me I had childhood asthma. My mom, knowing this wasn't the correct diagnosis persisted until she got a doctor to take an x-ray. the x-ray revealed the almond as well as an incredibly swollen lung that if left untreated for even 2 more days would have punctured my heart. So I was rushed into surgery and had the almond removed. All I remember about the experience is that my grandparents brought me candy corn and a nurse gave me an alligator tooth brush.
16. I do not throw up. I'm just not one of those people. I haven't thrown up in 3 years, and the last time I did was only because I was having a severe reaction to some medication. Before that time I hadn't thrown up for about 5 years. Weird I know...my sister throws up whenever she's the least bit sick. Apparently I just don't have any gag reflexes.
15. I love love love starting crafts....I'm just not good at finishing them.
14. I have never gotten into a physical fight...but let me tell you if I ever were to get into one...I'd be scrappy and fight dirty.
13. I can't spit worth a darn and watching others spit makes my stomach hurt.
12. I love to read. Anybody who knows me, knows this. However, what they probably don't know is that once I start to read a book, I usually dream about it until I finish it. The characters and places all show up in my dreams...and depending on the book that can be pretty creepy...so I usually just try to finish the book the same day I start it.
11. I am an obsessive researcher. Once I hear about something I don't understand or have never heard of before I search the internet unceasingly until I find enough information on the topic that I feel comfortable explaining it to someone else.
10. I am a picture blinker. Seriously, half my wedding pictures were of me with my eyes closed.
9. I once dyed my blond hair dark brown for Halloween. I was Pocahontas and the box said that it would wash out in 7-10 washes. What I didn't know is that when you dye lighter hair a darker color...it doesn't wash out...ever. So with my dark brown hair and my pale white almost translucent skin I looked like a vampire.
8. I've done a lot of stupid things in my days. Near the top of the list is the time I registered for BYU my freshman year. I thought the numbers next to the classes (English 320) were the room numbers. So I ended up in Junior and Senior level classes...good news is I didn't get less than a B in any of them thanks to some very kind professors who probably felt very sorry for me.
7. Most days I have a very librarian look going for me.
6. I think acronyms are way fun...and can be relatively stupid. Here's a little quiz for you...what does POTUS and FLOTUS stand for. (Hint: they are related)
5. When I eat soup I eat all of the vegetables first...while maintaining equal parts broth and substance.
4. I thoroughly enjoy laying out by the pool with a good book. Its probably my favorite summer pass time.
3. Winter will be the death of me. In Minnesota my body didn't understand what was happening every time I walked outside and began coughing.
2. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be one of those women who ends up giving birth on a toilet because they didn't know they were pregnant or that it was time to go to the hospital. Not because I'm stupid or anything but because my body loves to give mixed signals.
1. I seem to wink at inappropriate times uncontrollably. Like when the sacrament bread is being passed or when I see somebody in the temple I know.
