WEIRD STATS

One of the amazing things about the internet is that keeps track of wacky things. For instance, did you know this blog is being found at least 3 times a day in the UK for my picture of Balou?! Apparently those wild foreigners love their Balou! Also my amazing collage of "The Hoff" is all the rage in Germany...I hope that some young impressionable confused teen is staring at it right now. Also, did you know...that this blog is the 3rd ranked site when you type in "bedroom smells like onions" (without the quotations) into Google. Yee Haw! Now I would say thats an accomplishment. It is also ranked 6th overall in the search "valentine verses involving tummy buttons"....don't even ask me what that means or why I'm being found for that but I am and let me tell you....I AM PROUD!


Here's to all the weird and wacky stats the internet saves and publishes for our perusal!


The 25 List

Since this tag seems to be spreading like dysentery on the Oregon Trail, I thought I might as well get it over with....So here we go. 25 amazing things about me that you probably didn't know...

25. I am a total extremist...not in that sporty go jump off a cliff kind of way...but in the its either good or its bad kind of way. Its black or its white...I like you or I don't like you. (But don't worry if I don't like you, you probably wouldn't know it because I'm really good at being polite and cordial.)

24. I get blisters on my heels at least once a week. My feet literally hate shoes. They can be old tennis shoes I've had for years or brand new loafers...seriously doesn't matter I still get them once a week.

23. I was once told I look like a blond Betty Boop....I don't even know what that means. I mean I know who Betty Boop is...but does that mean I look animated...or a little trashy??

22. Feet creep me out. I hate them...I mean think about where they've been. They are literally a playground for bacteria and odor...WHY would anyone want to touch them?

21. My pinky fingers are teeny tiny. They barely come past the first knuckles on my ring fingers. They're mini pinkys.

20. Some people are weird about textures they touch...I am weird about textures I eat or drink. Ask my husband...he says I give the stupidest reasons for not eating or drinking something. For example, it's 10pm and I'm thirsty so Greg says, "Have a glass of milk or water." Now I love milk and really cold water is ok as well. But at 10pm, in my weird brain, milk is just too thick to drink and water is too oily...so what do I do...I go thirsty usually.

19. I used to sing a lot. In choirs, in church, in the shower...etc. However, I really can't read music. I usually just listen to a song and pick up which part I'm supposed to sing...this is why I tell people I'm too dumb to sing alto...I can't hear that part as well so I can't sing it.

18. I have to make the bed before I can sleep in it. What?! you ask. Yes, that's right. If the bed is not made or messed up in anyway, I make it, straighten out all the wrinkles and tuck in the sheets before I can sleep in it. That way I climb into a very neat and tight cozy bed.

17. And now the almond story...Once upon a time I was 3 years old and over-tired. You know how kids get when they're overtired...they cry. Well, I was tired and crying but I still needed to take a bath before bed. So my mom threw me into the tub to get clean. It was close to Valentine's Day and she had just gotten a large box of chocolates from my dad and she knew that I loved the colorful Jordan Almonds that came in the chocolates so she bribed me. If I stopped crying I could have one, she said. So I somehow managed to compose myself. And stopped crying, but you know how after you've been crying for a while you get gaspy and suck in gulps of air to try and stop yourself. Well I was in that gaspy stage when I got my treat. I put the almond in my mouth and mid swallow gasped the almond into my lung. I don't really know how this works...I just tell people a magic passageway opened up and deposited the almond directly into my lung. Anyway, almonds aren't very good at dissolving so after a couple of days my 3 year old body couldn't take 3 steps without having to sit down and rest. My mother knowing something was definitely wrong took me to multiple doctors who told me I had childhood asthma. My mom, knowing this wasn't the correct diagnosis persisted until she got a doctor to take an x-ray. the x-ray revealed the almond as well as an incredibly swollen lung that if left untreated for even 2 more days would have punctured my heart. So I was rushed into surgery and had the almond removed. All I remember about the experience is that my grandparents brought me candy corn and a nurse gave me an alligator tooth brush.

16. I do not throw up. I'm just not one of those people. I haven't thrown up in 3 years, and the last time I did was only because I was having a severe reaction to some medication. Before that time I hadn't thrown up for about 5 years. Weird I know...my sister throws up whenever she's the least bit sick. Apparently I just don't have any gag reflexes.

15. I love love love starting crafts....I'm just not good at finishing them.

14. I have never gotten into a physical fight...but let me tell you if I ever were to get into one...I'd be scrappy and fight dirty.

13. I can't spit worth a darn and watching others spit makes my stomach hurt.

12. I love to read. Anybody who knows me, knows this. However, what they probably don't know is that once I start to read a book, I usually dream about it until I finish it. The characters and places all show up in my dreams...and depending on the book that can be pretty creepy...so I usually just try to finish the book the same day I start it.

11. I am an obsessive researcher. Once I hear about something I don't understand or have never heard of before I search the internet unceasingly until I find enough information on the topic that I feel comfortable explaining it to someone else.

10. I am a picture blinker. Seriously, half my wedding pictures were of me with my eyes closed.

9. I once dyed my blond hair dark brown for Halloween. I was Pocahontas and the box said that it would wash out in 7-10 washes. What I didn't know is that when you dye lighter hair a darker color...it doesn't wash out...ever. So with my dark brown hair and my pale white almost translucent skin I looked like a vampire.

8. I've done a lot of stupid things in my days. Near the top of the list is the time I registered for BYU my freshman year. I thought the numbers next to the classes (English 320) were the room numbers. So I ended up in Junior and Senior level classes...good news is I didn't get less than a B in any of them thanks to some very kind professors who probably felt very sorry for me.

7. Most days I have a very librarian look going for me.

6. I think acronyms are way fun...and can be relatively stupid. Here's a little quiz for you...what does POTUS and FLOTUS stand for. (Hint: they are related)

5. When I eat soup I eat all of the vegetables first...while maintaining equal parts broth and substance.

4. I thoroughly enjoy laying out by the pool with a good book. Its probably my favorite summer pass time.

3. Winter will be the death of me. In Minnesota my body didn't understand what was happening every time I walked outside and began coughing.

2. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be one of those women who ends up giving birth on a toilet because they didn't know they were pregnant or that it was time to go to the hospital. Not because I'm stupid or anything but because my body loves to give mixed signals.

1. I seem to wink at inappropriate times uncontrollably. Like when the sacrament bread is being passed or when I see somebody in the temple I know.