Introducing Limerick Thursday!
Odd Limerick
There once was a girl from Nantucket,
Who put all her corn in a bucket;
Then everyday,
In the same way,
She'd sit in a corner and shuck it.
Biblical Limerick
Able had a big brother named Cain,
Who was brawny and buff and quite vain;
God liked Able much more,
Which made Cain very sore,
So to him Able had to be slain.
Hallmark Limerick
The sun seemed so shiny today,
Your smile must keep all clouds away;
We went on a date,
I thought it was great,
But I don't have cash, can you pay?
Creepy Limerick
There once was this creepy old man,
Who lived in a light blue sedan;
He gave us all toys,
Said he liked little boys,
And hey have you seen my friend Dan?
Ok those are my limericks for today! Challenge: write your own crazy limerick and post it in the fan mail section! Let's make it a contest! Whoever wins gets the all powerful right to say they are the winner!!! (which isn't that the best prize of all)
Crisis Averted!
Just to bring everybody up to date....my teeth are now fixed. And by fixed I mean numb by the powerful gum ambrosia Anbesol. LOVE IT! My wisdom teeth have decided to abort their birth and are now retreating back to their premortal existence. PERFECT! So I guess the dentists were right...in a way. They won't actually come up and stay up...they will just come up and go back down like some demonic jack in the box.
Now a Story...
Some of you may have heard this one before, but for those of you who haven't you're in for a treat. Here's a collage for a visual preview!
The Day I Met David Hasselhoff
I wasn't exactly a high up executive at NuSkin, but I happened to know a thing or two about their latest and most expensive product...and that was the Biophotonic Scanner. So when David Hasselhoff was flown in Jan. of 2005, I was asked to come up to the executive offices and scan his hand, explain his score and explicate how the scanner works. For those of you who don't know who David Hassellhoff is think Mitch Buchanan from Baywatch or Michael from Night Rider (you know the old school show with the talking car...it was wicked cool back in the day).Or for those of you more cultured folk think Broadway.....he's been in Jekyl and Hyde and Paint Your Wagon. Now I have never been a huge fan of Mr. Hasselhoff and this experience didn't exactly add to my previous opinion of him.
At 5pm on a Friday I was escorted upstairs to the Executive offices and ushered into the Executive Conference Room to set up the scanner for good ole David. His plane was supposed to land at 4pm Utah time so they figured he'd be in around 5:30 or so because of the traffic and the bad snowy/icy weather. Well, they were wrong. First of all his plane didn't land until 5:00 and then it took 2 hours to get from the SLC airport to NuSkin headquarters in Provo (usually about a 45 minute drive).
So you're probably wondering what I did for two hours.....well let me tell you. I hung out with the Distributors that had flown Mr. Hassellhoff in...apparently one of them was a friend of the Night Rider. These guys make 2 million dollars a month. (And no I'm not kidding or exaggerating) At one point they were talking about movies and one of them said (and I quote) "Yeah I have to get a better way to organize my DVD's. Right now I just put them in the player, but we reached the 400 limit over Christmas. " (ummmm...yeah he had a theater IN his home and had over 400 DVD's directly in his DVD player....oh the opulence.) I just kind of looked at them and smiled.
Finally Mr. Hasselhoff arrived but he had consumed approximately 8 cups of coffee in his limo so he was WIRED. He came busting through the doors and belted.
"Well Hello. I'm David Hasselhoff."
Now let me describe to you what he was wearing. Black. Black jeans, black t-shirt, black leather jacket, black cowboy boots, black sunglasses (even though it had been dark for 3 hours). And he is a huge guy. He's about 6'4 or 6'5, pretty built, and VERY tan. The guy glowed.
He then proceeded to talk about himself for the next hour....I swear he didn't breathe. I found out that in 1988 he went to Germany to release his single "Looking for Freedom" and it sold 17,000 copies in its first week and was #1 on the charts for 8 weeks straight (he also claims that it helped in the US/German realtionship and the Berlin Wall fell as a direct result of the album....and I'm not kidding....and here you thought it had something to do with Bush and Gorbachev...silly people.), and seeing how he repeated this whole phrase no less than 32 times he started to remind me of a broken record.
I also was informed that he has the best stomach for a man over the age of 50 as voted on by the people of USA Today....apparently he has abs of steel...or so he said. So upon being told such my eyes must have wandered to his stomach section or something because he looked at me and said, "Well I don't have any abs right now because I've been on Broadway and I've had to start eating carbs and sugars to maintain my weight.." (Yeah right Mitch go back to Baywatch).
And every so often during his narcissistic monologue he would break out into song....and no, once again I am not kidding. He would sing a verse or the chorus of whatever song he was currently congratulating himself on and then go on with his magniloquent soliloquy and after a harrowing hour of this discourse he finally looked at me and bellowed, "So what is this scanner....tell me about it....how does it work...why is the laser blue....will it burn...?" (he accosted me with a series of questions neither waiting for the answer nor particularly caring if there was one because after his cross examination he merely turned to his friend Wade who was sitting next to him and said "I really like this NuSkin place.")
I scanned his hand, explained his score and then he got up and said "I need to go to the restroom is there one around here....and I'm hungry, you guys want to go out to dinner?" Apparently those 8 cups of coffee finally hit him, so while he went to relieve himself, I packed up the scanner and left.
The nice executives and distributors thanked me for staying late and as I was walking toward the elevators with the scanner Mr. Hasselhoff came out of the bathroom and said, "Hey you were great. Would you like an autographed picture I have some glossies in the car....Whats your name....Wade write down her name so I can leave a glossy with Scott for her to pick up on Monday. Thanks again." and then he walked away. I told Wade my name and then got on the elevator...it was pretty much the weirdest experience I have ever had.
But hey....maybe some German will buy the picture on Ebay and I can make some money out of the deal.
To see an AMAZING video of the actual Berlin Wall Crashing Song "Looking for Freedom" click here.
Just to bring everybody up to date....my teeth are now fixed. And by fixed I mean numb by the powerful gum ambrosia Anbesol. LOVE IT! My wisdom teeth have decided to abort their birth and are now retreating back to their premortal existence. PERFECT! So I guess the dentists were right...in a way. They won't actually come up and stay up...they will just come up and go back down like some demonic jack in the box.
Now a Story...
Some of you may have heard this one before, but for those of you who haven't you're in for a treat. Here's a collage for a visual preview!
The Day I Met David Hasselhoff
I wasn't exactly a high up executive at NuSkin, but I happened to know a thing or two about their latest and most expensive product...and that was the Biophotonic Scanner. So when David Hasselhoff was flown in Jan. of 2005, I was asked to come up to the executive offices and scan his hand, explain his score and explicate how the scanner works. For those of you who don't know who David Hassellhoff is think Mitch Buchanan from Baywatch or Michael from Night Rider (you know the old school show with the talking car...it was wicked cool back in the day).Or for those of you more cultured folk think Broadway.....he's been in Jekyl and Hyde and Paint Your Wagon. Now I have never been a huge fan of Mr. Hasselhoff and this experience didn't exactly add to my previous opinion of him.
At 5pm on a Friday I was escorted upstairs to the Executive offices and ushered into the Executive Conference Room to set up the scanner for good ole David. His plane was supposed to land at 4pm Utah time so they figured he'd be in around 5:30 or so because of the traffic and the bad snowy/icy weather. Well, they were wrong. First of all his plane didn't land until 5:00 and then it took 2 hours to get from the SLC airport to NuSkin headquarters in Provo (usually about a 45 minute drive).
So you're probably wondering what I did for two hours.....well let me tell you. I hung out with the Distributors that had flown Mr. Hassellhoff in...apparently one of them was a friend of the Night Rider. These guys make 2 million dollars a month. (And no I'm not kidding or exaggerating) At one point they were talking about movies and one of them said (and I quote) "Yeah I have to get a better way to organize my DVD's. Right now I just put them in the player, but we reached the 400 limit over Christmas. " (ummmm...yeah he had a theater IN his home and had over 400 DVD's directly in his DVD player....oh the opulence.) I just kind of looked at them and smiled.
Finally Mr. Hasselhoff arrived but he had consumed approximately 8 cups of coffee in his limo so he was WIRED. He came busting through the doors and belted.
"Well Hello. I'm David Hasselhoff."
Now let me describe to you what he was wearing. Black. Black jeans, black t-shirt, black leather jacket, black cowboy boots, black sunglasses (even though it had been dark for 3 hours). And he is a huge guy. He's about 6'4 or 6'5, pretty built, and VERY tan. The guy glowed.
He then proceeded to talk about himself for the next hour....I swear he didn't breathe. I found out that in 1988 he went to Germany to release his single "Looking for Freedom" and it sold 17,000 copies in its first week and was #1 on the charts for 8 weeks straight (he also claims that it helped in the US/German realtionship and the Berlin Wall fell as a direct result of the album....and I'm not kidding....and here you thought it had something to do with Bush and Gorbachev...silly people.), and seeing how he repeated this whole phrase no less than 32 times he started to remind me of a broken record.
I also was informed that he has the best stomach for a man over the age of 50 as voted on by the people of USA Today....apparently he has abs of steel...or so he said. So upon being told such my eyes must have wandered to his stomach section or something because he looked at me and said, "Well I don't have any abs right now because I've been on Broadway and I've had to start eating carbs and sugars to maintain my weight.." (Yeah right Mitch go back to Baywatch).
And every so often during his narcissistic monologue he would break out into song....and no, once again I am not kidding. He would sing a verse or the chorus of whatever song he was currently congratulating himself on and then go on with his magniloquent soliloquy and after a harrowing hour of this discourse he finally looked at me and bellowed, "So what is this scanner....tell me about it....how does it work...why is the laser blue....will it burn...?" (he accosted me with a series of questions neither waiting for the answer nor particularly caring if there was one because after his cross examination he merely turned to his friend Wade who was sitting next to him and said "I really like this NuSkin place.")
I scanned his hand, explained his score and then he got up and said "I need to go to the restroom is there one around here....and I'm hungry, you guys want to go out to dinner?" Apparently those 8 cups of coffee finally hit him, so while he went to relieve himself, I packed up the scanner and left.
The nice executives and distributors thanked me for staying late and as I was walking toward the elevators with the scanner Mr. Hasselhoff came out of the bathroom and said, "Hey you were great. Would you like an autographed picture I have some glossies in the car....Whats your name....Wade write down her name so I can leave a glossy with Scott for her to pick up on Monday. Thanks again." and then he walked away. I told Wade my name and then got on the elevator...it was pretty much the weirdest experience I have ever had.
But hey....maybe some German will buy the picture on Ebay and I can make some money out of the deal.
To see an AMAZING video of the actual Berlin Wall Crashing Song "Looking for Freedom" click here.
I'm teething....
This might sound weird to those of you who know me....I mean I am twenty-eight years old...don't most people stop teething when they're like...3. Well I've always been a late bloomer in the teeth department.
You see its my wisdom teeth...they're coming in. For years and years dentists have been telling me that my wisdom teeth...since they hadn't come up yet...were probably never going to come up. Most gave a definite response of ...NO. However, they were all wrong.
At the moment it is 1:53 am....and I can count my heartbeat in my gums....this is not normal. My right eye might just burst forth from its eye socket at any moment...so stayed tuned for that. But other than that I'm fine.
I've decided that when my kids start teething I am going to have a greater appreciation for the event...appreciation and coma inducing drugs... cause nobody should have to actually live through this.
Well, Lindsey...what have you done to try and remedy this pain??? (I hear you asking this)
Currently the IB Profen count is at 10 (those being taken within the last two hours). I'm not sure that's healthy...and it sure isn't working.
I have also put heating pads on my sore inflamed parts...and when that didn't work have been sucking on ice. If I had a teething ring I would definitely be using it. (Also something to note...3 is the current count of ice cubes that I have swallowed WAY too soon...causing choking and then throat freeze)
I have also tried Nyquil...why Nyquil you ask....well it has pain reliever in the description as well as strong sleeping medications. However...apparently neither of these so-called active ingredients are currently working...so my next course of action will be writing the makers of Nyquil a scathing letter.
And thats about it. My mouth hurts. The end.
This might sound weird to those of you who know me....I mean I am twenty-eight years old...don't most people stop teething when they're like...3. Well I've always been a late bloomer in the teeth department.
You see its my wisdom teeth...they're coming in. For years and years dentists have been telling me that my wisdom teeth...since they hadn't come up yet...were probably never going to come up. Most gave a definite response of ...NO. However, they were all wrong.
At the moment it is 1:53 am....and I can count my heartbeat in my gums....this is not normal. My right eye might just burst forth from its eye socket at any moment...so stayed tuned for that. But other than that I'm fine.
I've decided that when my kids start teething I am going to have a greater appreciation for the event...appreciation and coma inducing drugs... cause nobody should have to actually live through this.
Well, Lindsey...what have you done to try and remedy this pain??? (I hear you asking this)
Currently the IB Profen count is at 10 (those being taken within the last two hours). I'm not sure that's healthy...and it sure isn't working.
I have also put heating pads on my sore inflamed parts...and when that didn't work have been sucking on ice. If I had a teething ring I would definitely be using it. (Also something to note...3 is the current count of ice cubes that I have swallowed WAY too soon...causing choking and then throat freeze)
I have also tried Nyquil...why Nyquil you ask....well it has pain reliever in the description as well as strong sleeping medications. However...apparently neither of these so-called active ingredients are currently working...so my next course of action will be writing the makers of Nyquil a scathing letter.
And thats about it. My mouth hurts. The end.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)